Whoa Nelly

I keep thinking things are going to get easier our something, but that has just not been the case so far. I never made it home Tuesday night-I went to mom and dad's and wore some of my sister's clothes from high school to work the next day. Wednesday and Thursday I left right at the end of school, but just felt brain dead when I got home. Same today. Moments from this week:
Colonial Day was today, and the kids were actually very well behaved and looked really cute doing their dance.
After a shoe-throwing incident from a student other than the usual shoe-thrower, I was talking to some of the aides about how hard it is to love these kids so much but have them struggle and test you. One of them said it's just like raising kids, who scream and tell you you're the worst mom and they hate you, and I realized that was probably why I go home so drained.
Our Captain Hook is going to be so great. He sang his solo today in chorus, complete with a voice he has come up with and gestures and inflection. After seeing so many terrified little elementary school auditions, it is shocking and refreshing and exciting to see talent like that. I'm excited for how the show will turn out-I know it will be a mess all along the way, but the product will be really good.
I saw a headline about a mom suing a school because her daughter wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom and peed her pants, and I immediately thought "this happened in a special." Sure enough, it was the music teacher who denied the bathroom request, because she thought they had gone before class. Every non-teacher and probably most non-specialists would read that and be appalled that a kindergartener was denied a bathroom break, but THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
I don't know if there is some crisis happening in Saudi Arabia right now, but we keep having kids move in from Saudi Arabia.
I looked up park ranger jobs for the summer and was really tempted.
A story from the past: The greatest compliment I have ever received was from a friend on study abroad. She said I reminded her of trees. To some this would be very weird, and I will try to explain why it meant so much to me. I love both The Sound and the Fury and A Room With a View. In The Sound and the Fury, Benji describes Caddie as smelling like trees, and is very upset when she puts on perfume and no longer does. Her tree scent represents innocence and the natural. Caddie is a very complicated character, but she is always spunky and loving, so despite all of her questionable decisions, I really like her character. And I like the Caddie who smells like trees-who is independent and feisty and possibly the only one who loves her handicapped brother. From A Room with a View, I have acquired the romantic notion that I want to be an "outdoor" person-I want to remind people of a view, not a room. Not that I necessarily spend a lot of time outdoors, but to have that spirit about me. Which is why my friend saying I reminded her of trees is just about the best thing anyone could have said.